A Pup to Rescue Their Hearts Page 4

  ‘I’ll take him,’ Josh Stanmore said. ‘While we’re looking for his owner, anyway.’

  ‘Can I come and visit him, then?’ Mattie’s tone was a plea. ‘Next time I see you?’

  Next time? Oh, no... Stevie felt like the walls were starting to close in on her. Mattie wanted to see Josh again? Wanted to have a relationship with her boss? Surely Josh wouldn’t be comfortable with that any more than she was?

  But he was smiling at Mattie. ‘I think that’s up to your mum,’ he said. ‘That was the deal, remember? We were all going to meet today and talk about what happens next.’

  Mattie nodded, turning back to fix his gaze on his mother.

  ‘But you said, Mum...’ His tone was accusing now. ‘You told Tim that if I was happy we could plan what was going to happen next time.’

  Across the top of his head, Josh was also staring at Stevie and it felt almost like the two of them were ganging up on her.

  What was Josh even doing here? Surely he had enough to do with children in his working life? He might have a few at home as well as far as she knew but, in any case, a Big Brother match was inappropriate given her professional relationship with this man. It could also be extremely awkward. Imagine what Mattie might tell Josh about her? It already felt as if her privacy had been severely breached here.

  It couldn’t possibly be allowed to happen, that was all there was to it, but this was going to have to be handled carefully. Things were fragile enough with Mattie to make disappointing him a big deal. This could turn out to be a turning point and Stevie needed time to think because the last thing she wanted was to make things worse. She knew her words were the classic parental cop-out but it was the best she could come up with under this kind of pressure.

  ‘I’ll have to think about it,’ she said. ‘We’ll see.’

  CHAPTER THREE

  IT HAD TO HAPPEN, of course.

  There was no way Josh could avoid seeing Stevie at work and, to be honest, he didn’t want to avoid it. He’d been sharing his home for a couple of days now with a small, scruffy dog who had a plaster cast on its leg so it couldn’t move very much, and Josh couldn’t catch sight of the injured animal or carry it out to the garden for bathroom business without thinking of the boy who’d helped him rescue it.

  A boy who reminded him of things that had shaped his own life. Like the loneliness. Like feeling that he didn’t belong, or worse, that he wasn’t wanted. That need to help others in order to make himself feel worthwhile. Good grief... Mattie even looked a bit like Josh had at that age, being a bit tall and lean for his age, with shaggy dark hair and brown eyes.

  He wanted to know that Mattie was okay after the trauma of seeing that accident. He wanted to let him know that the dog was doing great and the only way he could do that was to speak to Mattie’s mother.

  He just hadn’t expected that it would come in the wake of more drama. Or that it would be Stevie who slipped into the treatment room as he stood there, unable to get on with the procedure he was there to perform. Unable to move, in fact, seeing as he was scrubbed and keeping his gloved hands from touching anything non-sterile. Fortunately, his small patient was sedated enough to be asleep on the bed in front of him and it was also fortunate that Stevie was clearly up to speed with what was going on. She had already pulled a gown over her scrubs and was reaching for a mask from the wall dispenser.

  ‘Ruby said you need a hand for a lumbar puncture.’

  ‘Mmm... This is Taylor. Her mum needed to step outside for a minute, along with Ruby and my registrar.’

  ‘Yes.’ Stevie didn’t meet his eyes as she went to the other side of the bed. ‘I found her inhaler but your registrar decided they needed to get her down to ED.’

  ‘It was a rather dramatic onset of an asthma attack. She was a bit overwhelmed by all this.’

  Stevie simply nodded, as if she knew exactly why Taylor’s mother had been so upset. She bent down so that her face was close to that of the five-year-old girl. ‘Hey, sweetheart,’ she said softly. ‘My name’s Stevie.’

  Oh...man... That note in Stevie’s voice when she’d said ‘sweetheart’. It was as though it had struck some weird kind of gong buried deep in Josh’s chest. He could feel a reverberation of the single word that was giving him the strangest feeling of...what was it...longing? Or maybe it was sadness that he’d never heard anyone call him ‘sweetheart’ like that. As if they were so completely and utterly genuine.

  Maybe that note had been what had pierced Taylor’s sleepiness, although her words were slurred enough to suggest a good level of sedation as her eyes fluttered open. ‘Where’s Mummy?’

  ‘She’ll be back soon. She asked me to help look after you.’ Stevie stroked wisps of blonde hair back from Taylor’s face. ‘I’m going to help you stay really, really still for Dr Josh, okay?’

  ‘’kay...’

  ‘I can see you’ve got someone to cuddle. Is it a rabbit?’

  ‘Is Bunny...’ The girl’s arms tightened around the stuffed toy she was clutching.

  ‘You cuddle Bunny...’ Stevie’s murmur was reassuring. ‘And I’m going to cuddle you...’

  Taylor’s eyes drifted shut again as Stevie moved her hands to a position where she could make sure the child couldn’t move suddenly. She looked up at Josh.

  ‘You happy with her position? Do you want the spine flexed any more than this?’

  For a heartbeat, Josh was caught by Stevie’s eyes. Mesmerised, even. Perhaps it was because her face was half-covered by a mask so it was her eyes that were more obvious. Or maybe it was because he hadn’t noticed before that those eyes were such an extraordinary colour. A tawny kind of hazel with the same golden glints that were shining amongst the red in that wild hair of hers under the bright light above this table. As alive as the flicker of flames.

  The moment was no more than a blink of time. ‘Position’s good,’ Josh said crisply. ‘We’re all set up with the skin preparation, sterile drapes and the tubes ready. Topical anaesthesia should be completely effective by now but I wasn’t going to start subcutaneous anaesthesia without being sure she wasn’t going to move.’

  ‘Of course.’

  Josh could see the way Stevie spread her fingers and increased the pressure where she was holding Taylor’s shoulders and hips to maintain vertical alignment of the spine. It wasn’t the first time that he’d realised she knew exactly what she was doing and it gave him absolute confidence to continue with this delicate procedure.

  He drew an imaginary line between the iliac crests, knowing that where the line intersected with the spine would be approximately the space between the L3 and L4 discs. His small patient didn’t seem to be aware of the fine needle he used to slowly infiltrate the area with local anaesthetic. It was such an automatic skill that Josh realised he was still a little too aware of who it was that was assisting him and he needed to remind himself that this was nothing other than a professional interaction.

  ‘Taylor came in with a fever, headache and unusual drowsiness. She said her legs ached and she has a bit of a rash on one leg.’

  ‘Oh...’ Stevie’s subtle nod was an understanding of why it was a priority to take a sample of cerebral spinal fluid to find out whether the symptoms were being caused by something as serious as meningitis. Then she tilted her head so that she could see Taylor’s face while still holding her in position. ‘That’s no good, is it, sweetheart? Not nice having sore legs.’ She glanced back at Josh. ‘Sound asleep,’ she whispered.

  Josh nodded. He was completely focused now as he reached for the lumbar puncture needle, holding it with the bevel pointing to the ceiling before carefully piercing the skin and then pausing to wait for any movement from his patient. Stevie had her head very close to Taylor’s face. Josh couldn’t hear what she was murmuring but it was obviously enough to distract the little girl from what he was doing because she barely even twitched. He advan
ced the needle, feeling the increased resistance of the spinous ligament and then further until he felt that resistance fade. He removed the stylet from inside the needle and was relieved to see the drops of fluid appear. He only needed to collect five to ten drops in the two sterile tubes so this would all be over very soon, having created minimal distress for his newest patient.

  ‘Speaking of sore legs,’ he said quietly, as he held the first tube in place to catch the drops, ‘come and find me when you’ve got a spare moment later. I’ve got something to show you.’

  * * *

  He was making it look so easy but Stevie knew how much skill that took. Josh’s confidence probably had a lot to do with the calm atmosphere in this treatment room as well. It was nothing like the tension they had worked under the first time they’d been in there together. This was so gentle that Taylor wasn’t even waking up. So gentle that Stevie felt like it was a privilege to be this close to him and working alongside him like this.

  Maybe she’d been stressing far too much in the last couple of days about how awkward it was going to be if—or more likely when—she had to interact with her HOD again. She hadn’t detected anything negative in his expression when he’d seen who had been sent to assist him. If anything, Josh almost looked as if he was pleased to see her again after her days off. Which was why, when she saw him a couple of hours later, in the early afternoon, it felt easy to offer him a smile.

  ‘Spare moment alert,’ she said. ‘It’s my lunch break.’ She held up a paper bag as proof.

  Josh smiled back. A quick, easy grin that made his face light up, in fact. A smile that gave Stevie a curious burst of something...warmth, perhaps...that popped and spread somewhere deep inside her gut. Dark eyes always looked warm but there was something about the way Josh’s eyes crinkled at the corners and one slightly out of line tooth provided the charm of an imperfection that took that smile to the next level.

  ‘Perfect timing,’ he told her. ‘Follow me.’

  He headed towards the smoke-stop door by the elevators that led to the stairwell. Oddly, it didn’t occur to Stevie to hesitate in following him, even when he took the stairs two at a time to go past the highest level of this hospital block and onto the roof space. Built in a U shape, this wing of Gloucester General Hospital was directly opposite the one with the helipad and fast access to the emergency department on the ground floor. She’d never been up here before, of course, but what was surprising was that she hadn’t heard about this space.

  ‘It’s a...a vegetable garden?’ Stevie couldn’t count the number of raised beds that were awash with greenery. There were even fruit trees in huge planter boxes. People were working on the other side of the roof and seemed to be filling a container with freshly dug carrots.

  ‘Isn’t it great? The idea got started by some volunteers a few years back and it’s kept growing...so to speak.’ Josh was grinning again. ‘I love coming up here for a few minutes when I get a break. There are seats—see? And a great view. If there wasn’t so much forest or so many hills out there, I’d be able to see the village I live in.’

  ‘That’s why I wanted to come here,’ Stevie said. ‘My dream was to get out of a big city and live in one of those Cotswold villages. Inner-city Gloucester isn’t ideal but at least we’re out of London now. One step closer...’

  Josh’s sideways glance was curious but he didn’t say anything other than to suggest a bench to sit on.

  ‘Go ahead and have your lunch,’ he added, after they’d both sat down. ‘I know how precious any time to eat is around here.’

  ‘Have you eaten already?’

  Josh shook his head. ‘It can wait.’

  ‘Have one of these.’ Stevie offered him the bag. ‘Mousetraps are Mattie’s favourite lunch but I made far too many of them yesterday.’

  Josh took one of the baked triangles of toast and cheese and bit into it. Seconds later, his face lit up again. ‘I’m with Mattie,’ he said. ‘These are so good.’

  ‘Dead easy.’ Stevie shrugged off the compliment. Because she was actually trying to shrug off an even stronger dose of that warmth his smile had created earlier. ‘It’s just a bit of Vegemite on toast and then grated cheese and egg on top and you bake them in the oven until they’re crispy. Have another one.’ She held the bag out again but avoided meeting Josh’s gaze. Instead, she looked around at the planter boxes. ‘And thanks for showing me this. It’s amazing.’

  ‘Oh...’ Josh paused as he reached towards the bag and then put his hand in his pocket instead. ‘That’s not what I wanted to show you. Here...’ He had his phone in his hand now and he tapped the screen to reveal a photograph. ‘I gave him a bath last night—as best I could while keeping the cast dry with a plastic bag, anyway. He looks like a different dog, doesn’t he?’

  Stevie looked at a much whiter, fluffier version of the little stray terrier she’d seen at the vet clinic. ‘He certainly looks a lot happier.’

  ‘He’s loving my garden. I have someone from the village who helps me with housework and stuff and she’s keeping an eye on Lucky during the day.’

  ‘Lucky?’

  ‘It was Mattie’s idea for a name. Because he’d been lucky not to have been killed when that car hit him.’ Josh hesitated for a moment. ‘I thought he might like to see this picture. If you give me your number, I’ll send it to you.’ He tapped his screen again to open his contacts.

  Silently Stevie took the phone and began to input her details. ‘He’ll love that,’ she said quietly. ‘He’s been desperate for some news. Not that he’s saying much.’

  ‘How come?’

  ‘He doesn’t want to talk to me.’ Stevie handed back the phone. ‘He thinks I’m going to say he can’t see you—or Lucky—again.’

  ‘And are you?’ Josh was holding her gaze.

  ‘Well...it’s not really appropriate, is it?’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘We work together. And...’ Stevie bit her lip but the genuine concern in Josh’s expression overcame her hesitation. ‘And I don’t understand why you want to be doing it in the first place. You’re a bit old to be a Big Brother, aren’t you?’

  ‘Fair call.’ Josh nodded. ‘I’m thirty-six,’ he admitted. ‘And that’s the upper limit for being involved as a mentor but I’d never heard of the organisation until I saw a brochure that Ruby had. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. Meeting Mattie only made me even more sure. He’s such a great kid, Stevie. You can be very proud of what you’ve achieved as a parent.’

  The praise was so heartfelt it almost brought the prickle of tears to Stevie’s eyes.

  ‘You should have seen how gentle he was with Lucky,’ Josh continued quietly. ‘He was quite prepared to risk getting bitten so he could look after him and so fierce in his determination to make sure that little dog was going to be okay.’ The corner of his mouth curled upwards. ‘Bit like his mum was when she was helping me deal with a totally obstructed airway once.’

  Stevie ducked her head. More praise? It felt like Josh genuinely liked her. Admired her, even?

  ‘I grew up without a dad,’ Josh added softly. ‘Without much of a family, in fact. I got adopted but then they changed their minds down the track. I reckon I could have done with a “Big Brother” back then. Mattie told me that his dad died before he was born. That he just had you and his gran.’

  Stevie bit her lip. That Josh had been adopted and then given up was such a personal thing to be sharing with someone who was pretty much a stranger and she could see way beneath those matter-of-fact words. She could see a small boy—who might actually look a bit like her Mattie, come to think of it—who was feeling lonely and unwanted. All she wanted to do was to reach back in time and hug that boy. To tell him that it was going to be okay. That he was going to grow up to be a rather extraordinary man, in fact.

  Instead, she closed her eyes and let her breath out in a
sigh because the most personal thing she’d carried around as a secret for so many years was suddenly overwhelming her. Why on earth it felt like Josh Stanmore was someone she could trust as the first person to share it with was too extraordinary to try and analyse but it probably had a lot to do with what he’d just told her about his childhood. Anyway, it was there and she felt...safe.

  ‘Mattie’s father didn’t die before he was born,’ she whispered. ‘He just didn’t want either of us. He did die in a car accident a few years later but, at the time, he just gave me more than enough money to get an abortion and find a job in another hospital—preferably as far away as I could get. It was only then that I found out he already had a wife. And kids. I don’t ever want Mattie to know how unwanted he was by his dad. It was easier to pretend he was already dead and just get on with being the best parent I could be all by myself.’

  Josh was silent for so long that Stevie cringed. Her father, who’d also died a couple of years ago, had thought his daughter was ruining her life by the choices she was making at the time. That she was compounding her carelessness by stupidity. And even though she’d got past a lot of negative judgement from people over the years, she really didn’t want more of the same from Josh.

  She didn’t get it. Instead, he caught her gaze and his face was very still and serious.

  ‘So...you’re brave as well as beautiful,’ he said. ‘But I think I already guessed that much.’

  He thought she was beautiful? Oh...my... There was a flood of warmth deep inside her that clearly had nothing to do with the way this man smiled.

  ‘And you make the best mousetraps ever,’ Josh added, as if he was trying to lighten the atmosphere. Or give her an escape if she needed one? ‘I’d better get back to work.’