A Pup to Rescue Their Hearts Read online

  Good grief...that thought was enough to be stirring something in his gut that he hadn’t seen coming. Something totally inappropriate given that definitive brush-off Stevie had given him the first day he’d met her. Fortunately, Josh caught a movement from the corner of his eye that made him turn his head.

  ‘Off the sofa, Lucky,’ he commanded. ‘We’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?’

  Lucky jumping down was enough to break that stillness for Stevie. She was moving further away from him—towards the fireplace.

  ‘This mantlepiece...’ She stepped onto the flagstone hearth to reach up and touch the massive beam of wood that was embedded in the wall. ‘It looks like a whole tree trunk. It’s incredible. How old is your house?’

  ‘Dates to about mid-eighteenth century, I believe. The wood burner doesn’t look too out of place, though, does it?’

  ‘It’s gorgeous. And I love how you can stack the logs on either side like that. Did the flue from the log burner just go inside the original chimney?’

  She was leaning in to peer up into the space and Josh didn’t think to warn her not to touch the inside of the chimney. It hadn’t occurred to him that there could still be some ancient soot clinging to stonework until Stevie straightened and pushed that curl back off her face, leaving a huge, black streak in its place.

  ‘Oh, no...’

  ‘What? Have I got something on my face?’ Stevie was touching her nose now, and then her cheek and then she saw her fingers and laughed.

  ‘Don’t move...’ Josh walked past the fireplace to where the living room led into his kitchen. He grabbed a clean tea towel, ran it under the tap and went back to Stevie who used it to wipe her hands and then her face.

  ‘Have I got it all?’

  ‘Almost.’

  Without thinking, Josh reached out and used the pad of his thumb to wipe a remnant of smudge from her cheek. Close to her mouth. So close, he could feel the corners of her lips. And how incredibly soft her skin was... It was his turn to stop in his tracks, suddenly overwhelmed with what he could feel. And see. The way Stevie’s gaze was locked on his, the way those gloriously tawny eyes darkened and...oh, man...the way her lips had parted again. And this time, he just knew that she was waiting to be kissed.

  That she wanted to be kissed.

  It was obviously the day for not thinking things through. He hadn’t warned her about the soot. He hadn’t hesitated in touching her face but maybe, this time, he just didn’t want to let anything stop him responding to an invitation that promised him something he might deeply regret missing out on if he didn’t accept it.

  By the time his head had dipped—oh, so slowly—far enough for his lips to be hovering just above Stevie’s there was no turning back. Not when she was coming up on her toes to close that final fraction of space between them. And certainly not when he could feel the soft, delicious responsiveness of her lips beneath his.

  This was the kiss he’d been waiting for his entire life.

  He just hadn’t known it even existed.

  He could feel Stevie melting in his arms as he deepened that kiss and time slowed to a point where it felt like this dance of touch and taste and sensation was as familiar as breathing. When it stopped being too much and became not enough but then instantly became too much again as Stevie pulled abruptly out of his arms.

  Her breath was coming in short gasps but she still pressed her hand against her mouth. ‘Oh, no...’ Her tone was far less amused than his had been when he’d used those exact words when he’d seen the sooty smudges on her face. She sounded—and looked—horrified. ‘That should not have happened.’

  ‘No...’ Josh’s agreement was rather half-hearted despite knowing, deep down, that she was quite right. But it had happened and he wasn’t exactly sorry. Clearly, he hadn’t quite come to his senses again yet because what he actually wanted was for it to happen again.

  And, judging by the fact that Stevie actually looked like she might be about to burst into tears—which was a bit scary given that he knew how strong a person she was—an opportunity to kiss her again wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  DON’T CRY, STEVIE ordered herself. Don’t you dare cry...

  But this felt a bit like that day she’d first met Josh all those weeks ago, when she’d gone to hide in that supply room and buried her face in her hands, convinced that she’d ruined what had held the promise of a wonderful new start in life.

  There was nowhere to go to hide now. She couldn’t even hide how she was feeling with the way Josh was holding her gaze like this. This wasn’t the first time that Stevie had thought that he understood her way better than anyone else ever had and, coming in the wake of that astonishing kiss, she knew she really was in danger of bursting into tears.

  ‘Hey...’ His voice was soft. Gentle. ‘It’s not that bad, Stevie.’ Josh was actually smiling as he put his arms around her to offer her a hug. ‘It was just a kiss.’

  Really?

  It was impossible not to respond to the comfort of his arms around her body or to stop herself pressing her face into the soft wool of his jumper, in that dip below his shoulder that was just made for shielding someone from the world. But...just a kiss? Stevie had never experienced a kiss like that. It still felt as if her world had tilted on its axis so sharply she’d been on the point of falling into space.

  ‘It’s a disaster.’

  Her voice was muffled. Then she could feel as well as hear the amused sound Josh was making so she lifted her head to make sure he could hear her clearly.

  ‘Mattie’s going to hate me. Probably for ever.’

  ‘Why?’ Josh pulled back far enough to be able to see her face.

  ‘You must realise what would happen if the Big Brother organisation found out I’d kissed my son’s mentor. It probably breaks all the rules and he’d never be allowed to see you again and...and he’s been happier just lately than he’s been in a very long time.’

  Josh was frowning. ‘How on earth are they going to find out? Besides, I think it was me who kissed you, not the other way round.’

  The implication of those words went straight over Stevie’s head because she had too much else to think about. ‘But we know. What if Mattie found out?’

  ‘Mattie’s not here,’ Josh said calmly. ‘The only person other than us who knows about that kiss is Lucky.’

  Hearing his name, the little dog sat up, his head on one side, his tail wagging.

  ‘It’s about time for your dinner, isn’t it?’ Josh said. He looked down at Stevie and smiled. ‘How ’bout I make us a cup of tea at the same time and we can talk about this like grown-ups. Like friends? It really isn’t the end of the world.’

  * * *

  It really wasn’t the end of the world.

  It just felt like it.

  But it wasn’t until Stevie was curled up on one end of the soft, feather-filled cushions of Josh’s sofa in front of the log burner he had fired up to show her what it was like when it was going, and they’d been sticking to neutral topics and had been chatting about renovating old houses and the cup of tea had been replaced by a particularly nice glass of wine, that she realised why.

  It wasn’t that she was upset by the fact that they had kissed at all.

  What was actually devastating was that they couldn’t let it go any further when every cell in Stevie’s body was aching for more...

  Josh was sitting at the other end of the couch and somehow Lucky had sneaked up to occupy the middle. The little dog was stretched out on his back now, looking for all the world as if he was sunbathing somewhere on a Mediterranean beach.

  ‘He looks so happy,’ Stevie said. ‘And he’s so cute. I can’t believe his owners haven’t come looking for him.’

  ‘Animals get dumped for all sorts of reasons.’ Josh swirled the last bit of wine in the botto
m of his glass. ‘So do people.’ He drained the glass and reached for the bottle on the coffee table to refill it.

  Stevie blinked at the dark undercurrent that three simple little words could generate.

  ‘Sorry...’ Josh sat back against the cushions and closed his eyes. After a long moment, however, he opened them again to look directly at Stevie. ‘What is it about you,’ he asked quietly, ‘that makes me say things I’d never say to anyone else? Ever?’

  Stevie couldn’t answer that. Even if she could have found the words, they probably wouldn’t have come out given that squeeze in her chest that was taking her breath away. She’d never felt this close to anyone and it was far more than something purely physical. This felt like being touched on a far deeper level. One that was all about trust. And love...

  ‘You did tell me,’ she said softly, ‘that you were adopted and then they changed their minds. I can’t believe anyone would do something like that.’

  ‘I got dumped the day I was born,’ Josh said into the silence that followed Stevie’s words. ‘I believe I was in a foster home for a while and then I got adopted by an older couple—Colin and Judith Stanmore. They’d been trying to have their own children for twenty years by then and my mother was nearly forty.’

  Stevie took a sip of her wine. Josh wasn’t looking at her as he spoke quietly but she couldn’t take her eyes off his face. Off those lines beside his eyes and lips that could deepen and light up his face when he smiled but, for now, just made him look serious enough to appear unbearably sad. Off the way he rubbed at the back of his neck when he was deciding whether to say something difficult.

  ‘It was one of “those” stories,’ Josh continued. ‘You know, when people finally adopt a child and then this miracle happens and they discover that they can have their own child, after all. That happened when I was about three and my earliest memory was my parents bringing him home from the hospital. I’d never seen them so happy. I was happy. Any photos from that time made us look like the perfect little family.’

  ‘What happened?’ Stevie encouraged softly. ‘What changed?’

  ‘Derek was their “real” son.’ Josh took a long sip of his wine. ‘Oh, I think they tried their best but it became a burden that I needed attention as well. I heard them, one night, talking about how it would be best to find me a new family but who would want me now that I wasn’t a cute baby any more? And I was becoming so badly behaved.’

  Stevie’s breath came out in an incredulous huff. ‘I wonder why that was?’ she muttered, her heart breaking for the small boy who had been so desperate to be noticed. To be loved.

  ‘The crunch came when Derek got sick one night. They both rushed him off to the hospital and I don’t think it even occurred to them that they shouldn’t have left me alone in the house. The police found me wandering down the street the next day, looking for them, and it was my grandmother who came to get me. My parents didn’t want me back and she was so furious with them she took me home with her, even though she was well into her seventies and raising a child was the last thing she really wanted to do.’

  Josh reached for the wine bottle to refill Stevie’s glass this time. ‘Sorry...not sure why I’m dumping this on you. Maybe it’s a very long-winded way of explaining why I’m not about to abandon Lucky. Or why I felt drawn to get involved with the Big Brother programme, perhaps. The first thing I thought when I looked at that brochure was how good it might have been to have someone like that in my life.’

  ‘What happened later? Did your parents ever apologise?’

  ‘Never saw them again. Grandma never spoke to them after that. She just did her duty and brought me up as best she could. She died while I was away at medical school. Her son and his family didn’t come to her funeral or even contest her will, which was a surprise given that she’d left her house and everything to me.’ Josh pulled in a deep breath. ‘I think that was the final point of my journey in giving up on the idea of families. I decided that I didn’t need one. Or want one.’ He raised his glass. ‘Friends, however, are entirely different. Here’s to you and me, Stevie.’

  She had to lean over Lucky to touch her glass to his.

  So...she certainly knew why he lived alone now. But how sad was that—to never want a family because he’d been so unlucky with his own? And how heroic was it to have devoted his life to helping save the lives of other people’s children, so that other families could stay together if at all possible?

  ‘Oh...’ Josh lowered his glass after taking a sip. ‘I know where all that came from. I just wanted to reassure you that nothing’s really changed, I guess. That I made a promise to the universe when I took on being Mattie’s mentor that I would never do anything to break the trust he was giving me because...because I know how much damage that can do.’

  Didn’t he just? Enough damage that Josh was never going to trust in family again. Enough that he was never going to do anything to hurt her son.

  ‘Thank you.’ Stevie’s smile started out a bit wobbly but slowly grew. She had to blink a couple of times, too, just in case there was an errant tear hiding somewhere.

  ‘That doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with Mattie’s mum,’ Josh added. ‘But it does mean that you’re in the same category. You’ve trusted me and I’m not going to break that trust.’

  She believed him. In spite of that kiss that had just turned her world upside down she knew that Josh would never intentionally hurt her. Or maybe it was partly because of that kiss. Because nobody could kiss you that tenderly, as if you were the most important person in the universe, unless he genuinely cared.

  * * *

  Oh, man...

  Stevie had never looked this gorgeous. Maybe it was because there were actual flames flickering in the background and those wild curls had been released from whatever ties tried to tame them during working hours and they were touching her shoulders and creating a kind of halo that picked up on every flicker of the burning wood in the fire in the rapidly fading daylight. He should get up and put a lamp on but he was enjoying watching her too much.

  And that was probably because he still hadn’t come to his senses completely. His brain had been doing its best—it had even dredged up ancient history that should have put paid to any fantasy moment—but his body hadn’t got with the programme yet. He could still feel what it had been like to touch Stevie. To taste her...

  He still wanted more.

  More distraction was needed. Something professional might help. Josh waved his hand at the massive bookshelf that lined the wall behind the sofa.

  ‘I’ve got a small library of textbooks here, in case you hadn’t noticed. If you ever want to read up on something—like hydrocephalus, perhaps—just let me know.’

  Stevie nodded. ‘I’d love to do some more training. I had a lot of catching up to do before I could get back to working in a proper hospital but I want to do more. I’ve lost a lot of years. Not that I regret it,’ she added hastily. ‘And working in aged care was the only sort of nursing with hours that fitted well enough around school and childcare but I’m loving getting back to paediatrics.’

  ‘Is that where you worked before Mattie came along?’

  Stevie nodded. ‘It was always where I wanted to be. I couldn’t believe my luck when I got a job at one of London’s best paediatric hospitals. And I thought I’d met the perfect man on my first day at work. It was a dream come true.’ She drank the last of her wine. ‘Until it wasn’t, of course.’

  Josh heard the sigh of that broken dream. The broken trust. It made his own heart ache.

  ‘I still thought it would be okay,’ Stevie said softly. ‘I thought he loved me. That we’d end up in that little house with a picket fence and we’d be that perfect little family. How naive was that?’

  ‘You trusted the bastard,’ Josh growled. ‘Who was he? Some playboy medical student?’

  ‘Um...’ There was a gleam
of amusement in Stevie’s eyes. ‘He was a consultant. Pretty much my boss, I guess.’

  Josh could actually feel his stomach sinking like a stone. ‘Oh... God... And then I go and hit on you the first day we met.’

  Stevie dropped her gaze, giving her head a tiny shake. ‘You weren’t hitting on me,’ she said. ‘I just overreacted. You were trying to be welcoming to a new staff member. I get that now.’

  ‘No...’ Josh swallowed hard when the silence had gone on a little too long. ‘I’m not going to lie to you, Stevie. I kind of was hitting on you.’

  He heard the sharp intake of her breath as her gaze flicked up to meet his. He could also see her eyes darken again—the way they had just before he’d kissed her and, man...did that mess with his head, not to mention other parts of his anatomy?

  One corner of his mouth tried to curl into an apologetic smile but it didn’t quite work.

  ‘I couldn’t resist,’ he admitted. ‘There you were, the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen, and you’d just demonstrated the fact that you were also highly intelligent, extremely good at your job and that you were strong and brave enough not to crack under the intense pressure of a life or death situation. You blew me away, Stevie.’ It was his turn to shake his head. ‘You still do.’ This time, he did find a gentle smile. ‘It was a good thing you knocked me back, though. You deserve someone who can give you far more than I could have.’

  ‘Oh?’ The look she was giving him had enough heat to be melting something deep inside his gut. ‘Such as...?’

  ‘The possibility of a future,’ Josh said. ‘Commitment. The kind of thing I can never offer and, even though I’ve always made it clear that I can’t right from the start of anything, I know I’ve hurt a lot of women by not being able to give them what they wanted.’

  ‘That’s not your fault.’ Stevie was still staring at him. ‘I understand why you feel the way you do and if you’re always as honest about that as you’ve been with me, then you’re not breaking any promises. Or trust. People only get hurt when they expect—or want—something that they thought existed that then gets taken away from them.’